Entry tags:
Spontaneity
TITLE: Spontaneity
AUTHOR: kasarin (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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kasarin)
CHARACTER(S) / PAIRING(S): Leon, Cloud. Leon/Cloud.
RATING: e for everyone
WARNINGS: none
SUMMARY:
Spontaneity
Leon isn't a big fan of spontaneity. Blame it on too much instability in his life. Too many crises he's had to solve; too much danger he's had to avert; too many lives that have depended on his decisions. He took on the mantle of leadership because he failed, and he continues to bear it because … well, who else will?
He spends most days solving one problem after another, trying with all he has to rebuild Hollow Bastion. Aerith chides him gently, telling him that he should delegate. But delegation requires trust, and that's a hard thing for Leon to cultivate. Turns out that people generally don't enjoy trying to build a relationship — even a working one — with a man who keeps himself iced off emotionally. Few people stick around long enough for Leon to thaw. It's frustrating, but at least it's predictable.
And really, can he afford to delegate? Can he risk someone getting hurt because he made a poor decision and didn't handle something himself? Of course he can't. So he continues to go it alone, driven forward relentlessly by the knowledge that he failed his world once, and his fear that he could fail it again.
Cloud's return to Hollow Bastion doesn't change things on the surface. Leon keeps to his routine, endlessly working long hours and balking from his friends' attempts to get him out of his so-called "rut." They think that he should meet new people; they think that he should try dating; they think that he needs spontaneity in his life. The difference is that with Cloud around, Leon has an ally in his corner: Cloud is just as closed off, if not more so, and he's no more interested in "seizing life" than Leon is.
It comes to a head one evening when Yuffie proclaims (yet again) that she's taking charge of Leon's social life, and that he'd better clear his schedule for the next day. Leon catches Cloud looking at him from the corner of his eye, and the two of them exchange nearly identical looks of bottled up exasperation.
"Can you believe this?" their looks say. "Doesn't it sound awful?"
Then Cloud speaks up. "We already have plans," he tells Yuffie, and his tone leaves little room for argument.
It's a spontaneous thing, which means that Leon shouldn't like it. But "plans" with Cloud sound infinitely better than whatever new tortures Yuffie has in mind. So Leon backs Cloud up, and Yuffie (reluctantly) drops it.
The only problem with lying to a ninja as nosy as Yuffie is that it's rarely successful. There has to be some grain of truth; otherwise, she'll rapidly ferret out the lie. That means Leon and Cloud are obliged to spend time together. Whether Cloud knew that when he stepped in or not, Leon isn't sure — but when he asks Cloud if he'd like to spend their newly-scheduled time training, Cloud is quick to agree.
Training with Cloud is nothing like Leon's typical days. There's no juggling of projects and people; no hurt feelings or inflated egos to step around; no staring into the future and hoping he's making the right decisions. Cloud demands the entirely of Leon's attention, pushing him physically and mentally in ways that Leon has scarcely experienced outside of life-or-death situations. Their strength and defensive capabilities are perfectly balanced. If Leon has more in the way of stamina, Cloud makes up for it with his sheer ferocity.
Every time their blades meet, Leon feels nothing but his pounding heart and straining muscles. His mind is clear of everything but their fight. It feels more than good: it feels incredible.
There's paperwork waiting for Leon once they're done. But when Cloud asks, "Same time tomorrow?" Leon can't help but agree.
It's a change born of spontaneity, but it immediately becomes part of Leon's routine. He and Cloud train together at every chance they get. They tend to the occasional wounds their blades leave on each other's skin. They compare tactics and help each other to improve. They spend their evenings together, retreating from the noise of their friends to the quiet of each other's company.
Aerith thinks it's good that they've bonded. Yuffie demands to know what they talk about. Cid does his best to usher Yuffie away.
The thing is, they don't actively try to bond, nor do they talk about much of anything. Sure, they discuss things like their training sessions, weapons maintenance, and who's going to win their next match. But most of the time, they just sit together quietly. It's easier that way. There's too much darkness in Cloud's past and too much pain in Leon's for them to feel comfortable prying.
And they are comfortable, after a time. Comfortable bantering about the day's events or sitting next to one another in companionable silence. Comfortable in each other's personal space, having limped home supporting one another many times after training. Comfortable enough for Leon to rub salve onto Cloud's aching shoulder blade — the one from which a wing once protruded. Comfortable enough for Cloud to brush Leon's hair out of his eyes while Leon's hands are full, and for Leon to think nothing of the way Cloud's fingertips linger in the dark strands.
There's nothing spontaneous, really, about what happens next. As far as Leon's concerned, it's a natural progression. An inevitability that was sparked the first time they sparred. When it comes time to part one night, Leon touches Cloud's bare shoulder, then he leans in to kiss Cloud's lips.
Cloud tastes like cinnamon and smells like fresh air. Leon thought that there might be some trace of darkness, given Cloud's past, but there's nothing. Just warm lips and a flavor that he immediately decides he likes.
He feels Cloud's hand on his waist, gloved fingers curling slightly in the white fabric of his shirt. And Cloud kisses back, as though this is a perfectly ordinary occurrence. As though they've done this every night before.
It doesn't feel spontaneous. It feels like it was meant to be.
Cloud draws away, and Leon opens his eyes to meet Cloud's gaze.
"Come with me," Cloud says.
And maybe it's spontaneous, and maybe it's not. Leon follows anyway, joining Cloud in his bedroom without hesitation.
It's easy to live in the moment with Cloud. It's easy to get lost in the taste of him, just as it's easy to get lost when they strain against each other in combat.
Leon wakes up in Cloud's bed the next morning with Cloud's spiky hair poking him in the chin. He breathes in that fresh-air scent, smiles to himself, and decides to do his best to make sure last night was just the beginning of a wonderful new routine.
AUTHOR: kasarin (
kasarin/CHARACTER(S) / PAIRING(S): Leon, Cloud. Leon/Cloud.
RATING: e for everyone
WARNINGS: none
SUMMARY:
Leon isn't a big fan of spontaneity. Good thing that Cloud is around to back him up.
Leon isn't a big fan of spontaneity. Blame it on too much instability in his life. Too many crises he's had to solve; too much danger he's had to avert; too many lives that have depended on his decisions. He took on the mantle of leadership because he failed, and he continues to bear it because … well, who else will?
He spends most days solving one problem after another, trying with all he has to rebuild Hollow Bastion. Aerith chides him gently, telling him that he should delegate. But delegation requires trust, and that's a hard thing for Leon to cultivate. Turns out that people generally don't enjoy trying to build a relationship — even a working one — with a man who keeps himself iced off emotionally. Few people stick around long enough for Leon to thaw. It's frustrating, but at least it's predictable.
And really, can he afford to delegate? Can he risk someone getting hurt because he made a poor decision and didn't handle something himself? Of course he can't. So he continues to go it alone, driven forward relentlessly by the knowledge that he failed his world once, and his fear that he could fail it again.
Cloud's return to Hollow Bastion doesn't change things on the surface. Leon keeps to his routine, endlessly working long hours and balking from his friends' attempts to get him out of his so-called "rut." They think that he should meet new people; they think that he should try dating; they think that he needs spontaneity in his life. The difference is that with Cloud around, Leon has an ally in his corner: Cloud is just as closed off, if not more so, and he's no more interested in "seizing life" than Leon is.
It comes to a head one evening when Yuffie proclaims (yet again) that she's taking charge of Leon's social life, and that he'd better clear his schedule for the next day. Leon catches Cloud looking at him from the corner of his eye, and the two of them exchange nearly identical looks of bottled up exasperation.
"Can you believe this?" their looks say. "Doesn't it sound awful?"
Then Cloud speaks up. "We already have plans," he tells Yuffie, and his tone leaves little room for argument.
It's a spontaneous thing, which means that Leon shouldn't like it. But "plans" with Cloud sound infinitely better than whatever new tortures Yuffie has in mind. So Leon backs Cloud up, and Yuffie (reluctantly) drops it.
The only problem with lying to a ninja as nosy as Yuffie is that it's rarely successful. There has to be some grain of truth; otherwise, she'll rapidly ferret out the lie. That means Leon and Cloud are obliged to spend time together. Whether Cloud knew that when he stepped in or not, Leon isn't sure — but when he asks Cloud if he'd like to spend their newly-scheduled time training, Cloud is quick to agree.
Training with Cloud is nothing like Leon's typical days. There's no juggling of projects and people; no hurt feelings or inflated egos to step around; no staring into the future and hoping he's making the right decisions. Cloud demands the entirely of Leon's attention, pushing him physically and mentally in ways that Leon has scarcely experienced outside of life-or-death situations. Their strength and defensive capabilities are perfectly balanced. If Leon has more in the way of stamina, Cloud makes up for it with his sheer ferocity.
Every time their blades meet, Leon feels nothing but his pounding heart and straining muscles. His mind is clear of everything but their fight. It feels more than good: it feels incredible.
There's paperwork waiting for Leon once they're done. But when Cloud asks, "Same time tomorrow?" Leon can't help but agree.
It's a change born of spontaneity, but it immediately becomes part of Leon's routine. He and Cloud train together at every chance they get. They tend to the occasional wounds their blades leave on each other's skin. They compare tactics and help each other to improve. They spend their evenings together, retreating from the noise of their friends to the quiet of each other's company.
Aerith thinks it's good that they've bonded. Yuffie demands to know what they talk about. Cid does his best to usher Yuffie away.
The thing is, they don't actively try to bond, nor do they talk about much of anything. Sure, they discuss things like their training sessions, weapons maintenance, and who's going to win their next match. But most of the time, they just sit together quietly. It's easier that way. There's too much darkness in Cloud's past and too much pain in Leon's for them to feel comfortable prying.
And they are comfortable, after a time. Comfortable bantering about the day's events or sitting next to one another in companionable silence. Comfortable in each other's personal space, having limped home supporting one another many times after training. Comfortable enough for Leon to rub salve onto Cloud's aching shoulder blade — the one from which a wing once protruded. Comfortable enough for Cloud to brush Leon's hair out of his eyes while Leon's hands are full, and for Leon to think nothing of the way Cloud's fingertips linger in the dark strands.
There's nothing spontaneous, really, about what happens next. As far as Leon's concerned, it's a natural progression. An inevitability that was sparked the first time they sparred. When it comes time to part one night, Leon touches Cloud's bare shoulder, then he leans in to kiss Cloud's lips.
Cloud tastes like cinnamon and smells like fresh air. Leon thought that there might be some trace of darkness, given Cloud's past, but there's nothing. Just warm lips and a flavor that he immediately decides he likes.
He feels Cloud's hand on his waist, gloved fingers curling slightly in the white fabric of his shirt. And Cloud kisses back, as though this is a perfectly ordinary occurrence. As though they've done this every night before.
It doesn't feel spontaneous. It feels like it was meant to be.
Cloud draws away, and Leon opens his eyes to meet Cloud's gaze.
"Come with me," Cloud says.
And maybe it's spontaneous, and maybe it's not. Leon follows anyway, joining Cloud in his bedroom without hesitation.
It's easy to live in the moment with Cloud. It's easy to get lost in the taste of him, just as it's easy to get lost when they strain against each other in combat.
Leon wakes up in Cloud's bed the next morning with Cloud's spiky hair poking him in the chin. He breathes in that fresh-air scent, smiles to himself, and decides to do his best to make sure last night was just the beginning of a wonderful new routine.
Author's Notes:
Shoutout to my buddy derptastical for being my beta! Crossposted to AO3 here.